Trouble Borrower

6 Jul

My name is Joanna, and I am a worrier.  I mean, I am a serious worrier… like, I could be a professional worrier if people got paid to do that kind of thing.

In all seriousness, I am not proud of it.  It is probably one of my weakest qualities, but there it is.  I worry about the little things, the big things, the far off in the future things, and sometimes even the past things.  I worry because I am a perfectionist. I worry because I like to know everything.  I like to be prepared and ready and in the know.  I worry because I like to be in control.

Lately, I have been worrying about living in a new place, finding a job, money, missing opportunities, and seeing all of my dreams pass me by. Sometimes it gets hard to prioritize because all my little worries are tapping me on the shoulder at once.  It’s exhausting.  And silly.  That’s right… it’s silly.  Worrying is a ridiculous and stupid thing to do.

I worry because it comes to me so easily, but I am done hiding behind the excuses.  I am writing these truths about myself so I can face them, and change them.  I do not want to waste my life being a worrier anymore.  I don’t want to worry myself into forgetting how truly amazing THIS moment is.  Right now.  Life is far too precious to waste stressing about what may or may not happen.  So, my goal is to live my one wild and precious life in the moment.  Worry free.

“I have learned to live each day as it comes. and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow.” — Dorothy Day

“I am an old man and have know a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” — Mark Twain

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” — Matthew 6:34

“Quit hanging onto the handrails… Let go.  Surrender.  Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day.” — Melody Beattie

My name is Joanna, and I choose to give myself to today.

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2 Responses to “Trouble Borrower”

  1. Kelli July 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    I can totally relate! I have always been a one to worry as well. It’s freeing to put it out there in print though. Praying for you through all these transitions.

  2. Ashley Scott July 6, 2012 at 10:51 pm #

    jo! i love this. I need to make a list of my fears as well, acknowledge them and allow people to hold me accountable to overcoming them, or at least trying. thanks for being bold and sharing what you see as a weakness… thats a tough one to admit out loud. take it in stride, your worry also gives you a compassion to love like nobody’s business.

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