Things have been a bit crazy in the life of this California girl for the last couple of weeks. As the craziness is about to pass, I’ve decided it’s time to share what’s been going on and why I’ve been a bit absent.
Over the last few months I’d been noticing a fatigue in myself that I just couldn’t shake. My body was worn down, my voice was always tired, and I just couldn’t bounce back. When I went home for the holidays, I saw one of my doctors and found out that I have a polyp on my vocal cord.
I had suspected that may be the case because I experienced something similar in high school. I developed nodules on my vocal cords and was put on complete vocal rest for two weeks in the hopes that my pipes would heal themselves. It truly helped, but I’m not sure my vocal cords have been very strong since then. I remembered what that felt like and thought it was possible that I was doing damage to my voice. I’m so relieved that I chose to go see my ENT when I did.
So, I have a polyp. This may not sound like much to most people, but to a performer it is terrifying. I could lose what makes me feel like me. Fortunately, it was caught early enough that no permanent damage has been done and it should heal in time. Unfortunately, if I continue working at My Gym my voice will not heal and I could be looking at surgery within the next few months. So, a difficult choice had to be made.
Tomorrow is my last day working at My Gym Children’s Fitness Center. I have spent the last few weeks explaining to my co-workers, trying to find solutions, searching for other jobs, and saying good-bye to all of the amazing kids I work with. (Seriously, I teach 15 different classes… it’s hard to keep it together when you have to say good-bye that many times!) It’s been rough, but I know I am doing the right thing. Sticking around was a risk I just couldn’t take, and I have to take care of myself. I am so thankful for the time I spent at My Gym and I will always treasure it. It’s nice to know that I have a home to go back to if I am ever able.
I am closing this chapter of my life tomorrow, but a new one is about to begin. Now that I’ve been forced out of my comfort zone, I am going to get uncomfortable and start pursuing my passion. I plan to do more freelance work from now on so I can do what I need to become a working actor. I’ve joined an acting studio and I start classes next week. I signed up for LA Casting. I am going to call in to Central Casting every week. I’m going to seek out theatre. I am going to audition all I can. I am going to give it all I’ve got.
I am terrified. And I am ridiculously excited. This is the next chapter of my life. I am ready to begin.